written by
Anya Zvezdina

What does 'Parental Responsibility' actually mean?

3 min read

A single mum debunks this legal concept, 18 months into court proceedings...

If only we were all as simple as Lego... - Photo by Daniel Cheung on Unsplash

All exes are different.

Mine, is the over-involved kind.

If you have this problem too, you might benefit from understanding what obligations you actually have. So that your life is not complicated by arguments like 'it is my legal right to... [so you should do what I want you to do]'.

How do you get Parental Responsibility?

For women it's easy. You give birth to a child!
(Unless there is adoption, generally speaking, this cannot be taken away.)

For men in UK, you need to be married to the woman giving birth and/or be listed on the birth certificate of the child.
(A father can also enter in to a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mother or acquire Parental Responsibility for a child by order of the court.)

What is 'Parental Responsibility'?

It is a concept, born out of legal documents.

There, it is the term for a bundle of legal responsibilities which parents have towards their children.

Parental Responsibility is defined as

“All the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authorities which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and the child’s property.”
- s.3 of the Children Act, 1989

It is accepted that this will generally include a duty to:

  • House the child and provide them shelter
  • Protect and maintain the child (meeting their physical needs and protecting them from harm)

A person with Parental Responsibility will also have a duty to make decisions about:

  • Appropriate discipline for a child
  • What educational provision is appropriate for the child
  • Any necessary medical treatment for the child
  • The name the child should be known by
  • How any property which the child has an interest in should be managed
  • Whether the child may travel out of the country

How does that play out in real life?

What if there are two parents are living apart?

They both have a duty to house, they both have a duty to make decisions... going to the doctor's can suddenly get tricky.

Well, in 2004 there was a family case published that included a UK judge spelling out what this means in practice. As far as I know, this is used by lawyers as guidelines of how separated parents can live with these responsibilities. This is before a court ruling is made. If an order is made in relation to your family, this order modifies these responsibilities for the individuals mentioned in that order.

So, what is the generic starting place?

Independent decisions:
Decisions that could be taken independently and without any consultation or notification to the other parent

  • How the children are to spend their time during contact
  • Personal care for the children
  • Activities undertaken
  • Religious and spiritual pursuits
  • Continuance of medicine treatment prescribed by GP

Decisions to inform of:
Decisions where one parent would always need to inform the other parent of the decision, but did not need to consult or take the other parent's views into account.

  • Medical Treatment in an emergency
  • Booking holidays or to take the children abroad in contact time
  • Planned visits to the GP and the reasons for this

Joint Decisions: Decisions that you would need to both inform and consult the other parent prior to making the decision.

  • Schools the children are to attend, including admissions applications.
  • Contact rotas in school holidays
  • Planned medical and dental treatment
  • Stopping medication prescribed for the children
  • Attendance at school functions so they can be planned (to allow parents to avoid seeing each other if this is preferred)
  • Age that children should be able to access age restricted content. Eg. movies with a restriction stricter than PG.

If this helps you, let me know. Have a look at my other stories.

Leave a comment if you have any additional information - I would love your help in keeping this up to date!